Question: “What does the Bible say about revenge?”

From - www.GotQuestions.org

Answer: The Bible has a great deal to say about revenge. Both the Hebrew and Greek words translated “vengeance,” “revenge,” and “avenge” have as their root meaning the idea of punishment. This is crucial in understanding why God reserves for Himself the right to avenge.The key verse regarding this truth is found in the Old Testament and quoted twice in the New Testament. God said: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them” (Deuteronomy 32:35; Romans 12:19; Hebrews 10:30). In Deuteronomy, God is speaking of the stiff-necked, rebellious, idolatrous Israelites who rejected Him and incurred His wrath with their wickedness. He promised to avenge Himself upon them in His own timing and according to His own perfect and pure motives. The two New Testament passages concern the behavior of the Christian, who is not to usurp God’s authority. Rather, we are to allow Him to judge rightly and pour out His divine retribution against His enemies as He sees fit.

Unlike us, God never takes vengeance from impure motives. His vengeance is for the purpose of punishing those who have offended and rejected Him. We can, however, pray for God to avenge Himself in perfection and holiness against His enemies and to avenge those who are oppressed by evil. In Psalm 94:1, the psalmist prays for God to avenge the righteous, not out of a sense of uncontrolled vindictiveness, but out of just retribution from the eternal Judge whose judgments are perfect. Even when the innocent suffer and the wicked appear to prosper, it is for God alone to punish. “The LORD is a jealous and avenging God; the LORD takes vengeance and is filled with wrath. The LORD takes vengeance on his foes and maintains his wrath against his enemies” (Nahum 1:2).

There are only two times in the Bible when God gives men permission to avenge in His name. First, after committing hideous, violent acts against the Israelites, the cup of God’s wrath against the Midianites was full, and He commanded Moses to lead the people in a holy war against them. “The LORD said to Moses, ‘Take vengeance on the Midianites for the Israelites. After that, you will be gathered to your people’” (Numbers 31:1-2). Here again, Moses did not act on his own; he was merely an instrument to carry out God’s perfect plan under His guidance and instruction. Second, Christians are to be in submission to the rulers God has set over us because they are His instruments for “vengeance on evildoers” (1 Peter 2:13-14). As in Moses’ case, these rulers are not to act on their own, but are to carry out God’s will for the punishment of the wicked.

It is tempting to try to take on the role of God and seek to punish those who we feel deserve it. But because we are sinful creatures, it is impossible for us to take revenge with pure motives. This is why the Mosaic Law contains the command: “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD” (Leviticus. 19:18). Even David, a “man after God’s own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14), refused to take revenge on Saul, even though David was the innocent party being wronged. David submitted to God’s command to forego vengeance and trust in Him: “May the LORD judge between you and me. And may the LORD avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you (1 Samuel 24:12).

As Christians, we are to follow the Lord Jesus’ command to “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44), leaving the vengeance to God.

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Tried and tested friends based from my own personal experience. Just leave it all up to the Lord and all things follow. I have all the reasons to avenge but then again, it’s ungodly to do so.  The Lord has been with me all those times even during my darkest hours but look at me now, I am better and happier. I feel so blessed. It’s a matter of obedience to Christ…

Glory to GOD!

Staying married…

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - David Bissonette   

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry     

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. - Socrates   

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Anonymous 

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?” - Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud 

‘Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.’ -  Anonymous

‘There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.   It’s called marriage.’  - Sam Kinison

‘I’ve had bad luck with both my wives…The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.’ - James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.

- Patrick Murra    

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…. - Nash   

You know what I did before I married?Anything I wanted to. - Anonymous    

My wife and I were happy for twenty years.Then we met. - Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield    

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters.They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’ - Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): ‘My wife’s an angel!’Second Guy: ‘You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.’ - Anonymous

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Men just don’t appreciate their wives. The idea of staying married for these men is like choking them to death. They fool around and have nothing but whining without even realizing that it’s their wives who are suffering the most.

Men, dont you know that:-

• Wives has to bear the hurt, pain and brokenness just to keep the family intact - for the sake of the kids, for the sake of the family.
• Wives has to stomach all the misgivings of the husband and prefer to be silent most of the times so as not to even make the pain even more unbearable to handle… 
• Wives has to be miserable, sacrificing their own personal ‘wants’ and aspirations in life as a human being just to be able to fulfill her role as a wife and as a mother.
• Wives has to endure all the troubles caused by the husbands who always fails to do what they have to do and try to keep off the limits, as in trying not to do the things they were not supposed to be doing (I can name one - womanizing)!

I have nothing but disappointment for men were supposed to act in principle for the sake of their family, men who were supposed to put Jesus Christ at the centre of their lives, at the center of his heart.

I am not losing hope, prayer is an effective tool ladies. So instead of complaining to your husband, lay it down the cross and let the Lord manifest.

Thanks for reading my thoughts

My beloved Bahrain…

Bahrain was my destination the first time I traveled outside Pinas ten years ago…My Aunt took me under her company’s visa and the rest was history.

As I look back, I have so many random thoughts about Bahrain:-

• The place where I met so many good quality friends that I will keep till my last breath!
• It’s the place where I found BCF, the church that has sheltered me and nurtured my spiritual being, a fellowship with the Saints, God has blessed me with a truly remarkable experience!   
• My first Arab experience. A culture so rich yet so different compared to ours in Pinas. I realized a big difference between the Muslims and Christians however difficult, they managed to get along and connect in the corporate world.
• The place where I managed to connect with the best men and women working in the hotel industry from different nations! Miss you all guys!
• The place where I met the man I will marry, the same man who  broke my heart, my trust and made me cry a bucket of tears. I still remember the so many sleepless nights  but then again, I was comforted by God’s grace, love and sweet embrace.
• In Bahrain…the place where I gave birth to my son Aaron

And now that I am here in Qatar, I can’t help but say –  

• I miss the friendly neighborhood every where in Bahrain…
• I miss shopping at the Manama Souq where I can get a bargain of BD1/- for an item that was originally on sale minutes ago at BD5/-…
• I miss buying a gold set of jewelry and pay it on terms of 6 months to one year (hulugan ba - taray diba?). I guess, they just find me trustworthy – he he he!
• I miss buying the Filipino food stuff at Midway down the souq…Siopao, Mongo Hopia, Tender Juicy Hotdog, Pampanga’s Best Tocino & Longanisa, Pork stuff, etc, etc!
• I miss dining at Flamingo and Swan Lake restaurants especially their pork dishes, it’s totally haram here in Doha!
• I miss the yummy mixed fried rice of Al Osra – so tasty!
• I miss the huge sale during Ramadan, Eid holidays and during the months of November where you could get a discount of up to 75% off!
• I miss Al Hawaj, Next and G2000’s huge sale!
• I miss my sister, Aunts, cousins and my very good friends from BCF, Diplomat, UHC and Regency!

So my dear friends in Bahrain, enjoy every minute of it while it lasts…

Parenting Kids Is Tough!

You may have read all the parenting books. You’ve tried their answers, but they sometimes defy the practicality of day-to-day living. And now you wonder, “What’s the use? It’s too difficult. My kids are going to end up resenting me anyway!”

It doesn’t have to be that way. I am convinced it’s possible–and not too complicated–to raise confident, responsible kids in a warm, close-knit family atmosphere. What is the relational heart of parenting? We believe there are four things involved with successful parenting of children.

1. Maintain a close, trusting relationship with your child.
2. Motivate children to do their best.
3. Preserve order and harmony at home, and have fun in the process.
4. Equip kids for future careers, interests, and relationships.

The key to parenting centers around understanding loving principles that can mean the difference between an angry, rebellious, distant child and a happy, cooperative one. Those principles begin with knowing how to keep your child’s heart open to you. No different than loving your spouse or close friends, the depth of your relationship is so important. They must both know and feel that you love them no matter what! Words alone do not express that kind of love. God does not just say He loves us…He shows us daily. Love your kids like God loves you. 

Blessings,
SMALLEY RELATIONSHIP CENTER

Is it God’s will?

We are leaving Bahrain for Qatar, hopefully by 31st October’08 - God willing.

I’m counting down the days, I don’t want to miss a thing. I wish I can say goodbye to all my friends and to all the people who has been a part of my life here in Bahrain.

As we are about to embark to a new life in Doha as a family (an answer to my prayer for nearly 5 years, truly God has been faithful - He has never leave me nor forsaken me) I desire for a time and place to meet up with all my friends before we finally leave.

Reminiscing the past, the good old days, oh how time flies so fast. I remember I was only 22 years old when I first step foot here in Bahrain, life has been good because God is good all the time. I have my taste of love and hurt, success and failure, happiness and sadness, togetherness and separation, loyalty and deception, and the list goes on!

My heart is so overwhelmed with mixed emotions. I keep on asking myself, is it God’s will or my will?  I do not want to be deceived for it matters for me to follow His will for only by following God’s will and seeing His purpose would lead us to the right path. May  my heart and mind be focused to Christ in order for me to be guided by the Holy Spirit…

Ten days to go and I’m counting…Lord, let your will be done in our life!

IT’S ALL IN THE PAST NOW…

After my husband confessed, I truly believe in my heart that there was repentance from within him for only by God’s grace there comes healing and forgiveness. The path to recovery after the confession was never easy as I can’t help but ponder and look back. God is good for He has revealed to me in HIs word that I must…

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” (Isaiah 43:18-19a)

If I will not allow Christ to move mightily, I will be in the bondage of hatred and anger. I have been saying this, it’s time now to move on!

The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.

We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.

Grant me the strength…

Dear Lord

Please give the strength to carry this through once again. Getting even is not the only way out but rather help me nurture in my heart the desire to be courageous and wise so that I could stand up and move forward. I am so badly beaten…my nose is bleeding!

Ann

Spouse has had an affair?

(From www.gotquestions.org)

Question: “What should be the response of a Christian whose spouse has had an affair?”Infidelity is a very difficult and painful situation. It involves all the emotions, and, for the Christian, can stretch faith almost to the breaking point. The best thing to do is to “Turn all your worries over to Him. He cares about you” (1 Peter 5:7). Go to Him for daily comfort, wisdom, and direction on a daily basis. God can help us through the deepest of trials. Adultery is always wrong.

Answer:

“God will judge the person who commits adultery” (Hebrews 13:4). The injured party should rest in the truth that God is the avenger. The person who has been sinned against does not have to fret over getting even. God will do a much better job of that. When we are injured, we need to commit this sin of adultery to the One who knows every detail and will deal with it appropriately.

“FORGIVE people when they sin against you. If you do, your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive people their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14, 15). This may seem impossible, but with God’s grace, the victim can make it an act of the will in obedience to God’s Word. To harbor bitterness will affect attitudes, emotions, and the desire to obey God, and it will negatively affect everyday decisions. This does not mean that the injured spouse is not going to suffer the effects of deep hurt. But the grace of God will greatly minister to his/her needs. The alternative is an unforgiving heart that will soon be racked with vengeful thoughts, anger, wrath, etc.

BE FORGIVEN. “But God is faithful and fair. If we admit that we have sinned, He will forgive us our sins. He will forgive every wrong thing we have done. He will make us pure” (1 John 1:9). Both parties should ask God to help them see how each may have contributed to this whole situation and be released from the weight of guilt before God. From that point on, there will be freedom to seek His counsel and guidance. His Holy Spirit will enable them to do what they could not do on their own. “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

Then as God leads, forgiveness and reconciliation can follow. Even if this takes time, every effort must be made forgive and reconcile. (See Matthew 5:23-24.) As to whether to stay or to leave, “Anyone who divorces his wife and gets married to another woman commits adultery. A man may divorce his wife only if she has not been faithful to him” (Matthew 19:9). But while the innocent party may have grounds for divorce, God’s preference is forgiveness and reconciliation.

The Lord says, “I hate divorce!” (Malachi 2:16) It is far better to try to resolve the issues causing the problems, especially if there are children involved. Godly counsel is helpful from someone who uses God’s Word—not Freudian psychology—as the basis for their advice. Prayer for guidance in all thoughts, words, actions, and decisions is crucial.

Recommended Resource: Surviving an Affair by Willard Harley.

Road Blocks to Forgiveness

“Why can’t I forgive?” is a question on many people’s minds. “I know that God wants me to, but I just can’t find the strength to go through with it.”

Forgiveness is not an easy task. I believe there are typically three main road blocks to forgiveness. The first is a lack of responsibility when it comes to owning up to our fallenness. If we are unable to see our own faults and mistakes, how can we possibly move toward forgiveness in our relationships? We must first be able to admit that we are not perfect and that we are capable of hurting our spouse.

Secondly, unresolved anger is a major hindrance to the healing power of forgiveness. If we refuse to let go of bitterness, rage, or hatred we are holding on to very destructive forces. These forces are in direct contrast to the power of forgiveness. The two forces cannot exist together. They are too different for there to be harmony between them.

Finally, many people have great misconceptions about what forgiveness is; and therefore struggle with forgiveness because they’re on the wrong path. Delusions about forgiveness are dangerous because they are not the truth. The truth will always set us free, like forgiveness. But if we believe the lies about forgiveness then it is natural we would avoid it at all costs, especially in the light of real emotional pain.

What are the common erroneous beliefs about forgiveness? First, and most importantly, forgiveness is not forgetting. How many times have we heard someone say, “Forgive and forget!” This is next to impossible, barring serious brain injury of coarse. Luckily our brains are not wired to completely forget painful events in our past. Some people might think this was a cruel joke created by God, just to torment us for our sins. But amazingly it is God’s blessing that allows us to remember saddening and hurtful experiences from our past. Kin Hubbard once wrote, “Nobody ever forgets where he buried a hatchet.”

If we believe we can stuff away our hurts, we are only prolonging the inevitable. By stuffing our hurts deep down in our inner self we are simple waiting for the explosion to occur; like a volcano the intense heat and pressure from past hurts builds up, hoping for release, until it finally erupts. Watch out, these eruptions are extremely damaging to family and friends. The ashes or lava will cover everything in its path.

James 1:2-4 reads, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of you faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Trials and painful experiences are events that God can use in the maturation process of His people! Why would we want to forget?

In conclusion, William Meninger wrote (In “The Process of Forgiveness”):

Forgiveness, then, is not forgetting. It is not condoning or absolving. Neither is it pretending nor something done for the sake of the offender. It is not a thing we just do by a brutal act of the will. It does not entail a loss of identity, of special ness, or of face. It does not release the offenders from obligations they may or may not recognize. An understanding of these things will go a long way towards helping people enter into the forgiveness process.

Prayer—Rehearsing God’s Will

As the Israelites prepared to enter the Promised Land, Moses warned them not to forget all that God had commanded. Since Canaan had no thriving religious book publishing industry to preserve the law in writing, the Israelites taught God’s commands to their children from morning until night—as they sat in their homes, as they walked to and from work, as they went to sleep, and as they rose in the morning (see Deuteronomy 6:1-9). Every day they reviewed and reminded each other of God’s laws.

Like the Israelites who rehearsed God’s law, I believe an important aspect of prayer is rehearsing God’s will. Regularly reminding ourselves of God’s will keeps us pointed toward God’s goal and helps us learn what it means to value him and others. It makes us ask questions like, “Whom am I going to love today?” “Whom will I encourage?” “Have I offended anyone from whom I need to ask forgiveness?” It points out my selfishness and reveals my need to continually turn away from my selfish ways and show compassion to those around me, particularly my spouse, by becoming a channel of God’s love.

Rehearsing God’s will also requires that I keep my mission in front of me. All successful corporations set clearly defined objectives that determine their day-to-day business strategies. Jesus taught this principle in the Sermon on the Mount: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33). Norma and I allow God to set the goals that will further his kingdom, then we go to him daily, praying for the opportunities and necessary resources to reach those objectives.

The most important aspect of rehearsing God’s will is making sure we pray only for things that are consistent with 1 Timothy 6:3-4: “If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, he is conceited and understands nothing.” These verses apply to false teachers, but I use them to double-check my prayer life. Is my prayer consistent with what Jesus taught? Will what I am praying for lead to godliness?

But successful prayer requires more than knowing God’s will. It also requires faith, and I have found that my faith works best when I mentally picture what I’m praying for…